soapboxdiner

Heffers and mules and men, oh my

You know what? I am exceptionally terrible at being yelled at. And truly, there is a gift some people have - being good at shrugging these things off. My son, for one example, can give a look that says, "Man, you're being bitchy. I think I'll choose to let you just be that bitch and I shall pay you no mind at all." And as irritatingly mature of him as that is, I respect his skill greatly. He did not learn it from me.

So, being the exceptionally terrible receipient of a tantrum today (one in which I apparently chose to take all personal) I made a plan. Plans, you see, are things I AM exceptionally good at. If that plan happens to involve creative ways in which I mentality torture and/or maim? Man. Watch out. My gift knows no bounds.

So, I'm planning. Plotting, if you will, a creative way to demonstrate my indomitable superiority and power over the doctor who regularly verbally flogs me. No, it does not involve fertively feeding her mood stabilizers. Instead, I thought, "Wouldn't it be fun to go Greek Goddess on her?"

Yes, yes it would be terribly amusing to do so. You know, like Hera turning Zeus' mistress into Io the cow! That's the superpower I want, darlings. How cool would that be? "I'm sorry, heffer, but I just really don't think so. Get on with your man-stealing self. Kapow! You're a cow! Let's see how theiving you can be now, bee-otch. Let's just see."

I think I'd turn that doctor into... a mule. Kinda hard to be a patronizing primadonna when the only thing that comes out of your ample mouth is a great big heehaw!

P.S. I ran into Ron tonight. You all remember me mentioning him, don't you? The ex boyfriend who... blah blah blah. The great One Who Got Away? Yeah. Saw him tonight.

It appears his new wife Roxanne works at Steven's daycare. Man, did he ever look good (and smell good, and feel good when we hugged...) We stood outside catching up for a good 20 minutes. Roxanne (you all remember my mentioning he got married?) waited in the car for the better part of it. And might I say, god it's good to know that I look better than her. Yes indeed, I feel damned good about that. Does that make me evil? You don't suppose she'd like to turn me into a cow, do you?

7:00 pm - 09.16.03
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