soapboxdiner

Fish Don't Fry in the Kitchen

So, are you all as impressed with our fine Democratic candidates as I am, following Sen. Harkin's Steak Fry in Iowa on Saturday?

Being the stellar political analyst that I am, please allow me to magnanimously share with you my initial impressions and foretell who I see as our next Prez:

In the Smarmy category:

and These gentleman will not be our next President. I hope.

In the Big Dolt category:

Senator Graham seems to be a fine, upstanding and respectable man, but really, he has no charisma. Or grossly apparent personality. Eh. I suppose he could probably get the job done, but with his stance on National Security, I shudder and fear for our respective rights to privacy. This is based on nothing more than my gut though, so don't take my word for it.

And in the Party-ers who should not try quite so hard category:

This categorization, however, was not entirely made from viewing the Steak Fry. More it came from seeing his speech in Boston on Sunday. Did you see it, did you see it? Where Sen. Kerry came out and said, "RRRRR UUUU Ready to Parrrr Tayyyy?!?" and then started playing like *one cord on his guitar? Classic, I tell you! Beautiful! Ripe with, Gee, I know the voting public is abhorrently small these days, and that us young people aren't getting out there and voting nearly as much as we should, but come ON, Mr. Senator. Watching you rock out is almost as painful as inadvertently walking in on your parents having sex. Dennis Kucinich you are not, mkay?

And that's my take. I'll keep you posted, if any of the above changes.

* I'm no guitarist, but really, Sen. Kerry's strumming display was INCREDIBLY painful. I mean it. It was BAD.

6:48 pm - 09.15.03
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