soapboxdiner

Well, Barack called someone stupid too, you know.

So, you know, I have this kinda mental thing that sometimes causes my whole brain to explode, like, a lot. It's called anxiety. If I don't have any real anxiety in my life, I can usually find some and ride that tasty mule all the way out of town.

After years of therapy, I kinda learned that, yeah, they're real emotions, but the thoughts that cause the feelings are just a little, how you say, WHACK. They aren't real and I just overthink the shit out of shit.

So now, if I'm cool, I just kinda ignore all that overthinking and try to find a middle ground. Or in other words, the mule just takes me to the Greyhound station and drops me off. Then I spend a few minutes with the Great Unwashed, and then I whistle for Bessie and we go back home, much chagrinned.

So over the weekend, I decided my vociferousness in sharing my whole mental overkill would be the professional ruin of me. So in the future, I've decided that instead of calling Bessie over from the stables so we could race around the company parking lot with banners that say, "You're all stupid!!!" I've decided that I'm ready to tackle the next stage in SBD evolution. It's gonna be a kinder, more diplomatic SBD from here on out, darlings! No more cussing! No more calling people dumb!

Sadly, I must report that Day 1 was not a success. There I was, minding my own calm and rational business, doing some QC, and the document read, "This is Daniel Smith," right on line #1 and the same set of hands that put that name on the top of the document, then scrolled up to the header and gave the same gentleman the name "Robert Smith".

???

IT'S TWO LINES APART, TARDICUS!!! PUT YOUR GRANNY SPECS ON AND STOP BEING DUMB!

And it was that moment I realized that they aren't gonna make it easy on me.

7:14 am - 07.28.09
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