soapboxdiner

Fun at Work

Fresh from the factory:

From: Employee of the Month
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 3:52 PM
To: SBD
Subject: quiz

Quick . . . without looking, are we in standard time or daylight savings time right now?

From: SBD
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 3:55 PM
To: Employee of the Month
Subject: RE: quiz

I don�t know. Daylight savings???? That�s just a guess. Remember, I wasn�t allowed on the Huntley Project Junior High Quiz Bowl team in the Montana State Academic Olympics, so if I�m wrong, please place the blame squarely on the shoulders of the person responsible: Chrissy XXXXXXX

From: Employee of the Month
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 4:02 PM
To: SBD
Subject: RE: quiz

Correct!

Dictators, however, seem to think that standard time runs the whole year �round because they keep saying the time, followed by �x standard time� when, in fact, it is currently daylight savings time. Exceptions are, of course, made for Hawaii, Arizona, and parts of Indiana. I just thought I�d mention it because the temptation to be a smarty pants and [sic] these parts is overwhelming. But . . . does anybody really know what time it is?

From: SBD
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 4:10 PM
To: Employee of the Month
Subject: RE: quiz

Well, not to be a know it all, but I believe that daylight savings, which has to do with the length of daylight hours based on the planet�s axial tilt in relation to the sun, does not relate to the Standard Time, which is a longitudinal reference point that measures the planet�s relative rotational presentation to the sun. However, I have never heard of Central NonStandard Time, so it IS a non sequitur.

Still, in the greater cosmic scheme, your metaphysical musing is quite apropos.

From: Employee of the Month
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 4:13 PM
To: SBD
Subject: RE: quiz

Big words confuse Mungo. I am just pawn in game of life.

From: SBD
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 4:17 PM
To: Employee of the Month
Subject: RE: quiz

See? Karma has wrought its vengeance.

From: Employee of the Month
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 4:23 PM
To: SBD
Subject: RE: quiz

School�s out for summer, school�s out for-EVER!

So at least they canceled classes the day after your one-room schoolhouse burnt down out there on the prairie. It�s kind of like a snow day. I clearly remember the sourpuss teacher who always wanted to ruin everyone�s good time by reminding us that days missed will have to be made up at the end of the school year. Obviously this teacher wasn�t into the buy now, pay later ideal.

From: SBD
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 4:24 PM
To: Employee of the Month
Subject: RE: quiz

Communist. Where was McCarthy when you needed him?

From: Employee of the Month
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 4:26 PM
To: SBD
Subject: RE: quiz

Having a drink with his friends Roy Cohn and J. Edgar Hoover; fine, upstanding citizens all.

From: SBD
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 4:29 PM
To: Employee of the Month
Subject: RE: quiz

Pish. Politicians. That�s EXACTLY why we need smaller governments and laxer semi-automatic gun regulation. Vote McCain.

From: Employee of the Month
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 4:41 PM
To: SBD
Subject: RE: quiz

That�s right. Not less guns, more guns, and give them to the right people. Shoot back.

But it is amazing how the Republicans have been able to convince the little people that they are actually for them when in fact that couldn�t be farther from the truth.

I have no idea who I�m going to vote for. All signs are pointing to sit this one out. Nobody says anything of substance, and with this big $700 billion handout, there isn�t going to be any money left to do anything either of these dudes are proposing anyway. Yucky times.

From: SBD
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 4:49 PM
To: Employee of the Month
Subject: RE: quiz

Boo. By the way, I do love the Dino Rossi ads where he says his plan for fixing the budget is 'bipartisanship'. Please tell me??? Explain that. Because I�ve been a poor backwater girl my whole life. The way I personally solve budget issues is to sit my happy butt at home and stop spending money, which really has nothing whatsoever to do with sending party invitations for $500/plate dinners out to a bunch of blow-hards who smile in my face and do everything in their power to discredit me after they�ve washed their dainty little digits in the sterling silver finger bowl my tax dollars paid for.

But I�m not bitter. Or jaded. Or even cynical. No, sir.

From: Employee of the Month
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 4:58 PM
To: SBD
Subject: RE: quiz

I am so loving the Rossi/Gregoire ads. I have never seen such smiling bullshit in all my life. I LMFAO at them. We don�t get the national ads because Republicans know that 100,000 people could write in Snoopy and this state is still going Democratic.

According to Gregoire, she loves her children, and by extension, your children too. But Rossi cuts funding for sick children. Therefore, Rossi may love children, but he doesn�t love sick children. Rossi believes children may be the future, but not the sick ones because they have no future. Meanwhile, Gregoire is on the take from the Indian casinos to the tune of 640K. She lets them keep $140 million and gets 640K for it? That�s on the take? That�s not even 5 percent! If I�m giving you $140 mil, I would expect more than a six-figure kickback. I love it!

But the roads and traffic are terrible from Olympia to Everett and there is no money to fix them. Why is this?

From: SBD
Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2008 5:05 PM
To: Employee of the Month
Subject: RE: quiz

Well, Dino is taking the very difficult Darwinian survival of the fittest stance, and bless him for it. It�s not easy to tell children that they are inferior and deserve to die. It�s God�s will.

Hmm . . . Darwin? God? On the same page? By God�s magnificent grace, I think Rossi just stumbled on the solution to everything. Fan-freaking-tastic. I can move to Alaska now and await the heaven-bound Hale-Bopp spaceship.

From: Employee of the Month
Sent: Tue 9/23/2008 5:12 PM
To: SBD
Subject: RE: quiz

Dino Rossi � Christian Scientist. And since he�s Italian, he�s probably mixed up with the mob. Or at least makes a great lasagna. I�m sorry, I�m hungry and I watched Goodfellas twice last week.

If you do move to Alaska, don�t move to Ketchikan. Because, you know, thanks to the former governor, there�s ain�t no freakin� bridge linking the town and the freakin� airport! She took the $400 mil and spent it on HATS and SHOES!

9:28 pm - 09.23.08
previous | next

Home | Archives | Profile | Notes | DiaryLand | Random Entry