soapboxdiner

Safeway rocks

So I just finished reading The Da Vinci Code this weekend, right? Now, me and Christian/art history? We be tight. Mmm hmm. Surprising but absolutely true.

So there I am at work this morning when I mention to Busy Body CoWorker that, indeed, I did finish reading The Da Vinci Code.

Do you know what she said to me? DO YOU? She said, "Oh, I don't want to read that book. I find that book offensive."

Huh? What's up with that?

"Well, honestly, it didn't really bash religion."

"Well," she said, "it's just that I know my Lord our Savior, and that book isn't how I want to think of Him."

"Do you mean you don't want to think of Jesus as potentially marrying a woman and/or being a father?"

"Hrmph. That's not MY God. My God would NEVER do anything like that!"

Whatever. I should have known. A 50-something woman who thinks reading romance novels straight off Oprah's B list just isn't capable to stretching that far.

Anyway. To each their own.

But since when is the concept of a "perfect human life" exclusionary of romantic love? I ask, of all the struggles and compromises maintaining a relationship entails, how can anyone, even God, speak without experience?

I'm just saying.

Is it really really gauche to buy all your Christmas gifts at Safeway? Because you know, I went in there last week and they had crazy mad kids toys parked in front of the doors, posing the question of me, "Ah, come onnnnnnnn. You don't really want to go to the mall and/or Toys R Us for this stuff, do you?"

And honestly, I just had to say (several) emphatic No way's! So I got all the kids their Christmas gifts at Safeway. I did, I tell you.

And tonight, when I went in there for the weekly stock-up and the Boss's Christmas prepaid cell phone that the office chicks and I are giving her? Yeah. They were right there, staring at me, cajoling me with their seductive promise of being all damn done with my shopping. Yes, dears. I again succombed. $50 gift cards for Sears. I got two - one for my mother and another for the step dad.

I wish Safeway sold parakeets and GameBoy game gear. CUZ THEN I'D BE ALL DONE WITH MY X-MAS SHOPPING!!!

Now some may classify my Safeway Christmas gifts as a cheap-ass cop out. But me? I see it as a win-win situation. And I won't be forced to kill the mall people for stealing my parking spot or walking like drunk geriatric mongoloids, all slow and weaving and shit. God, I hate those fools.

See? Win-win.

7:29 pm - 12.15.03
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