soapboxdiner

Just be good to me

I'm a man magnet. Oh yes I am. And can I just say, it's about freaking time, darlings. Of course and true to my nature, it isn't a guy that I necessarily want.

Sigh.

Here's the scoop. Back oh.. six years ago. I was a student in high academia: Local Tech. Oh, it was challenging. It was rewarding. It was productive of my first stalker following the birth of my child. I say that like I've had lots of stalkers in my life, like it's a good thing. But if you've ever had a stalker, you know it for what it really is: Curses and Damnation!

He was an adult returning student. Handsome handsome handsome very late 30s married Jamaican man. Followed me with his eyes. Wrote me inappropriate notes telling me I was beautiful and things he'd like to do "with" me.

I discouraged his advances. I told him I was dating someone else. I told him I didn't date married men. I told him he was too old for me. Nothing worked. I finally resorted to the time tested and fundamentally effective female wile to dissuade his advances: Belittlement and humiliation.

It worked oh too well, but I had no cares, almost. He thought I was a flaming bitch. It made me sad a bit, because other than his inappropriateness, I liked him as a person. We stopped talking for a long time.

Then I got hired at the hospital. Three months later, so did he. Rode the same bus as me. Told me every day I was beautiful. Told me he had a crush on me. Heavens. Haven't we traversed this ground before?

Started avoiding him like the plague. Drove to work, took break at a different time. Everything. Six years passed. He got a divorce. We've each had intervening lives. We've grown, changed. Whatever.

Saw him again this morning at the cafeteria. Ate breakfast together. Caught up on history and I told him he was Stella in need for getting a groove back since the divorce. Needed someone to kick him in the ass to get him moving. Had a decent conversation. Exchanged email addresses.

He wrote me today and said, "You're still beautiful. You're nice and loving to your family. I'm too old for games. I'll treat you right. I'd like to take you out to the movies or for a drink and maybe we can get to know each other better."

And I thought about things a bit. Single for nearly eight years. No sex in two. Hermit versus populating my life with people and functions that mean a lot to me and make me happy.

And I said, "Oh, why not give it a chance." and so I said yes. Movies.. maybe next weekend.

I worry though. Right now, he's Stella. All burned and bitter and scared about getting back out in the field and thinking nobody will want him. For now. It's just, how much attention will it take for Stella to regain the groove and go out on me, like he tried to do on his wife with me six years ago?

Am I simply too cynical. Putting the cart before the horse? Should I just be open to the opportunity and see where it takes me?

Oh hell. I think I'll just try something a little different and have a good time, consequences be damned. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan to me. I think I'll just try that.

6:49 pm - 03.28.03
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