soapboxdiner

Mondays that should be Sundays

Ever have those days that feel like you've walked into the Twilight Zone? Everything being topsy turvy and people swapping personalities and you just don't have a clue what got into the drinking water to cause such strange phenomena to occur in syncronicity?

Partner is away for the week down in another branch of the firm. This means New Girl gets the honor of my close company for the entire week. As you might know by now, there is no love lost between New Girl and myself. We've even had words. Oddly however, everything went smoothly today. We communicated and worked well together without me wishing to strap her down to a desk so as to insert sharp objects into her eyeballs. We even laughed. This may have been a fluke though, as typical to her "don't work too hard" motto, she decided to go home four hours early when we finished first-round search early; thus leaving the difficult searches to be conducted by the remaining staff - namely, me.

Funny though. Remember how I predicted her going far in the company, and how 'bout a month later she was promoted? Yeah. She was demoted today, back down to lowly searcher, like me. When asked, she told me it was due to departmental slow-downs, but if rumor is to be believed (and I am a firm believer in this one) the real cause is because she spent too much time surfing the net and making personal phone calls. Well, that and she can't be bothered by such things as filing back numerically. So, she's now third-wheel (again) on the train to departmental cut-backs. Heh. I knew there was a damned good reason they didn't give me that promotion. It's term-limited and I am far too valuable to lose. Um hm.

Then there I was, squatting on the ground looking through some files. One of the examiner's rounded the corner too fast, stepped on my big toe knuckle (um, ouch) and proceeded to stop short and slosh her hot tea on my forehead. She just about freaked out on me for sitting there without proper road flares and orange vest announcing myself. She went to Head Big Shot to discuss the matter. "We need to get these files off the floor." she said. "We simply shouldn't have to have these people like, oh that girl - the one wearing the black - loitering around the offices on the floor. They need to be out of the offices."

Well excuse the fuck out of me for being in the way of your scalding tea and your Gucci loafers. Sheesh. Don't mind me - you know - the gimp with the pulverized toe bones and third degree burn on her face. So sorry I was in the way.

But like I said, we did get done with everything early. Boss came up to me and said, "Wow! Good job today!" and gave me two thumbs up, which really excited me until I realized, "I bet she talks to her dog that way, too." Here little lap dog! Here girl! Gooood puppy!

But it was still nice to be appreciated. I promise though - I will not become her sycophant for praise.

On break, the girls were discussing first, second and third husbands. It seems the lot of them have had that many each. It was decided that first husbands tended to be okay in the long run. Not mate material, but still having the ability to exist on a friendly basis. Second husbands, however, were duly allotted the rank of Hellion Psycho Bastard Exes.

I informed the ladies that they apparently were doing something terribly wrong with their seconds. "You've apparently not mastered the skill of knowing how to drive men far far away for ever and ever, like the pro who is... myself."

Perhaps I should offer classes. You know, I really do excel in this department. It's a skill and an accomplishment, all in one neat little package.

8:14 pm - 02.03.03
previous | next

Home | Archives | Profile | Notes | DiaryLand | Random Entry