soapboxdiner

Stress venting.

I am so incredibly stressed right now - I have no idea what to do with myself. Should I cry? Take a nap? Pull all my hair out or sell Avon door to door? I need to be working. Moreso, I want to be working. Every day I am submitting resumes. Every day I am calling the temp service. But it really isn't producing anything. I don't understand this at all. There isn't a single valid reason that I can come up with for why I'm not working right now.

That's all really irrational. I'm trying to adopt this new Zen kind of attitude of inner peace and acceptance as a way to allow my skills and sparkly personality to show more - to shed some of all this negative fear/resentment/anger/worry. Especially here on diaryland where all the rancid brain vomit gets put out - seemingly as the only facet of my personality. How much of that is really as hidden as I think it is in real life?

I tell myself that once all the garbage is cleared, karma will start bringing good things my way. I'm not just sitting on my ass. And there is something more to me than what is apparently being projected.

I'm just at a loss to do with this bundle of nerves and concern. What do you do in the interim?

Yeah, and it's really all just irrational. Circumstances don't define a person, per se. I've done and been good things before, and I will again... I tell myself that because if I don't I start believing this lie that these times are permanent and I've failed forever and ever. I can't allow myself to listen to that voice. And so, if that tends to make me sound belligerent and disagreeable, please forgive me - or don't. That's not really the case at all.

10:42 am - 10.23.02
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