soapboxdiner

Manuever this

One of the best things about me, when I do something... it's ALL THE WAY.

Everyone HATES what I've done. They DISPISE that their procedures are changing. Every corner I rounded today presented me with circles of angry whisperers, sudden silences, glares and unsubtle turnings of backs.

I've managed to in one day become a work whore standing in a cubicle selling my thoughts too cheap, a martyr to the unemployment line, and an enemy to the happy technological stasis of my co-workers.

But this can be SO good. I want it to be good. I want to hold what I envision up to them all and say, "Look at what I've done for you! I've taken a redundant and difficult process and created a simpler one. One that once you use, you will see it for the time saver it is. The spreadsheet will export as a data source for batch ordering, so you will no longer have to stop everything you are doing ten times a day to place orders manually. This spreadsheet will also automatically quantitate the status of every return at each stage in the process. It is also a datasource for every email you send. All you will have to do is mail merge and you can contact an innumerable number of customers one time a day instead of 50 times a day. It will easily sort for the Accounting department, so instead of having 50 charge requests to process via email, they will only have to go to one place for the list. This will functionally leave the current process in the dust."

But they don't want to hear it. They just want to hate it, and me for starting it. And I know once this goes live, they will see it. But I'm just a big enough grudge-holding bitch to wonder, "Is it worth it to make their lives easier when it means I'm out of a job? Should I remain proud of my accomplishment and proceed with making all these wonderful improvements, or should I just walk out of this place right now and never turn back?"

Because that's what I feel like doing. What I have envisioned will take a lot of work. The upcoming weeks will be so incredibly stressful for me, it's really hard for me to reconcile putting in that much more work to see this through if I will only be fired at the end of it.

What does a person do in a situation like this? Stay and hope for a good reference? Leave with the notion, "Fuck them before they can fuck me." But I know that to screw them is to screw myself harder. I want that reference. I need it.

So I'm sitting on this right now. I reserve making this decision until.... God only knows. If I know myself at all, I'll still be sitting on making this decision when the pink slip comes. If I know me at all, I won't be going back there in the morning.

5:39 pm - 08.29.02
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