soapboxdiner

The irony of faltering conviction

Every once in awhile I get memory flashbacks of various moments in my life. We all do this, don't we? Take little mental snapshots and usually quite unceromoniously toss them into our subconcious photo album, which we then haphazardly throw up on a shelf to collect dust. Every once in awhile, as we are browsing the bookcase supporting that shelf, we kind of just accidently bump the photo album and watch it fall to the ground. Only then, when we bend to pick it up, do we see and recall the snapshot that somehow, miraculously, started the whole sequence of events to begin with.

We all do that, don't we?

Tonight's snaphot recollection is from about a year ago. I wrote an entry regarding race, and how different regions of the country react to it.

Despite being from a very conservative background, I've always balked at the thought that society should make too many racial distinctions. This, not to engender racial homogenization; more simply and idealistically to put aside fear and hatred and all the pursuant issues accompanying the matter. I hold a live and let live philosophy, which was finally allowed the chance to breathe easily when I moved into the liberal Seattle metro area.

Some may call this belief unrealistically childish. I call the belief a recognition of a better world, albeit a quixotic one. However, in order to practice this philosophy in the still-racially-touchy era we live in, there is a certain amount of responsibility that we all must practice. Again, not to homogenize any particular culture, but more to educate, defuse and de-escalate tension.

For Caucasians, this responsibility - only in my most humble opinion mind you - means providing equal opportunity. It means thinking before insulting and degrading Afro-Americans by speaking to them using "black" stereotypes. It means stopping racial profiling in judicial/legislative systems, schools, on the street, and in the workplace. No more "Want some fried chicken and watermelon, bro? High Five and all that jive." mentality. It's wrong, divisive.

Concurrent to this, though, there is a responsibility in the African American community. Do African Americans deserve the centuries old treatment they've received here? Most certainly not. Absolutely not. Should they have had to fight so long for equality? No. It's a sad, sad statement that I have to say, the Land of the Free that I live in has such a long history of treating other races so poorly. However, as in any situation, dwelling on the past to justify current hostility will not ever be forward-thinking. It will never solve the issue at hand. It will never right the wrong the US has perpetuated and continues to perpetuate against the black communities in this country.

Moreover, such an attitude goes against all proven survival techniques. Though it is definitely understandable to feel anger or hatred or distrust against a society that has been so wrong, acting on those emotions in a culture such as ours will only engender more hate, more distrust, more emotional and economic segregation. It's a fact of the age and society we live in. Ask any teenager - they will tell you nonconformity breeds contempt and distrust. Education, however, breeds tolerance.

When I wrote that piece last year, I stated that every successful creature in the animal kingdom, people included, employs one trait. They adapt to their environment. Each creature is still of the same family and genus (or in the instance of humanity - race) they were born into, despite the adaptations they make. A black man or woman is still a black man or woman in the US, which happens to be socio-economically run by whites, if they employ this survival technique. This does not mean that person has to shrug off their cultural pride and assimilate. It means using a higher mental faculty than hate and suspicion. This should be the goal on BOTH sides of the issue. Whites should also employ a higher faculty.

I made a statement in that entry. I said, having cultural pride is wonderful. It is great. Do it and be proud of it in accepting environments. If the goal here is to be understood, accepted, and treated with tolerance and equality, practice that pride in places that where you are not being scrutinized by suspicious and power-controlling eyes. Don't flaunt what is currently viewed as threatening in the face of the people who hold power over your social, political, and economic success. It will not get you where you want to be. At least not without a lot of pain that can easily be avoided.

An associate of mine responded to that entry. She said I was ignorant, hateful, and defensive. She vehemently disagreed with me quite pubicly and all but called me a member of the KKK. She stated blacks should not have to change. Whites have to change - to which I agree. Whites who view blacks in our society as anything other than Americans DO have to change. But as long as those whites are in seats of power, they are under no duress to educate themselves or make that necessary change. The impetus must come from the source that most wants realization of the change. The most expedient way to make the change happen is by education. Presenting a hostile or fear-inspiring facade does not inspire the confidence or trust needed to foster education.

I said, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

Later that week, my detractor was sitting at home with her friend, a black woman. The woman who spoke against my statement "When in Rome..." had been saying all week how she wanted her friend to put braids in her hair. As the three of us sat together I said, "Well, here's your friend who can braid your hair. What are you waiting for?"

She answered me by saying, "Oh, I can't put braids in my hair now! I have an interview with very respectable people and I can't be looking ghetto."

And I internally laughed at this woman who told me I was so, so ignorant. The irony of the moment. Here, she stated that Whitey is the problem with society and no black person should have to do a When in Rome to survive or succeed, and yet at the first presentation of potential conflict with a white person in power, she did the very thing she spat at.

Why did she consider braids ghetto, and why would she not wear them? Bo Derek had them in the 70s, and she was the hottest thing going. Braids are neat, often well-kept, even fashionable and pretty. Nothing says braids are low class or indicative of lack of character or intelligence. The only thing about braids that would make a person think that they're ghetto is the stereotype that only blacks in morally and socio-economically questionable stations wear them. And this was the first thing that my detractor avoided when called in to interview with a white person in power.

It always amuses me when people make evident their distaste for standing by their own convictions. I wonder now, as I think back on the moment, just as I wondered then, did she even realize her own contradiction?

8:20 pm - 02.11.03
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