soapboxdiner

Gulp

I was giong to work all weekend to prepare for my upcoming presentations, but instead got up on Saturday morning to SIL asking if I was going to go to the Pumpkin Patch with them (Charlie Brown). Kiddo very intently looked on, waiting for my answer with big old, "Please, oh, please, oh, please, Mom. Can we?!?!" eyeballs. How could I refuse? Kinda dammit.

*stress, thanks*

Afterwards, the Kiddo and I packed our bags and headed up to D00d's for the weekend. I brought a toothbrush that D00d told me should live at his house. We spent the rest of the weekend (which I told him I had to spend at the office working) rearranging the recording studio in his room (mixers and amps, and instruments, oh, my), and then painting.

Scary thing, darlings. The paint was darker than he'd expected. I told him it was nice, and that I liked it, "But it's your decision, D00d. This is your room and you need to like it." He told me it was OUR room.

*Gulp*

Boys are funny. Girls can't talk to boys the same way they can with other women. Today Coworker walked into the office dragging her left hand behind her. There was a new rock on it. After 6.5 years together, her boyfriend proposed. I emailed D00d to tell him how cute a couple they were and how pretty her ring was.

A couple hours later (which is quite a long time for D00d), he replied and said, "They aren't as cute as we are. I would not allow it. I know you're not hinting at anything, but if you were, that would be OK."

*Double gulp*

What was the delay in his replay all about? Was he busy working, or trying to figure out if there was subtext in my message and the import therein? I wasn't hinting, honestly. But did he just say what I think he said? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?!

Then I put my big old foot in my big old mouth. I told him I was going to run away and pretend that what I thought he just said hadn't been said.

Le Sigh. I'm such an asshole. However, he assured me that he would allow me to explain myself tomorrow night.

*Triple gulp*

Funny, because the more we are together, the more I know we fit. Never before in my life have I ever felt completely relaxed, completely at home, completely content in a relationship. Sometimes I think that THIS is what all the hype is about. But the odd thing is, when we aren't together, there isn't panic, there isn't sadness, there isn't a hole that must immediately be filled. Is that normal? I don't know. We're together four days a week. Maybe I just don't have time to feel the void and miss him. He's just there, and we are good, and this is right.

So what's all the gulping about?

11:10 pm - 10.20.08
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