soapboxdiner

This is my life.

Grumble grumble.

So I have been covering for a vacationing coworker for the past week and a half, and coworker apparently hired a new contractor right before she left. So coworker very thoughtfully signed New Contractor up for the online training, then scoot scoot scooted her happy self down to Texas for the week.

Well, New Contractor is what I like to call DUMB, and apparently can't seem to figure out how to READ.

Have I mentioned we are a company of transcriptionists?

So after several days of going back and forth with New Contractor, spoonfeeding DUMBY the answers that are quite apparent to a LITERATE transcriptionist, I finally snapped. Oh, and Dumby has the audacity to start getting all lippy with me, telling me that our training is cutting into her time and I need to resolve her dumbness expeditiously for her. Well, see, this is where I snap.

Dear Dumby,

Here's the answer. It's in picture form. Please make your answer look just like my answer.

It is our sincerest hope that you will now be able to advance and complete the training successfully. Please let me know if you have any further questions, comments or concerns.

Thanks,

SBD

Well, and that's all fine and good, right? Polite, with mellow undertones of snark that only a smart person would catch. And being that Dumby is Dumb ... well, she won't be offended.

So I'm expressing my frustration to SIL last night. And drinking beer. She emails me today with:

Dear SBD:

Soooo.... I'm trying to take your test and there some problem with a period and punctuation. Ummm, yeah, this is getting in the way of my production. You should do something.

And the only worthy reply ...

Thank you for your email, Mrs. SIL. Unfortunately, being as you are applying for the You Suck position, I will have to refer your concern to the I Don�t Give A Shit Department. Please expect resolution promptly following a steep and torturous descent into hell. From there, the Fuck Off Division will delete your email and laugh at your frustrations whilst drinking martinis and getting BJs from hookers named Angel.

Again, thank you very much for your email. It is our hope that you feel as satisfied as we do over our complete lack of concern for your regard.

Thanks,

SBD

3:00 pm - 09.04.08
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