soapboxdiner

More of the same... blame the beer

Dr. F: I saw that - you were flirting!

Me: I wasn't flirting. I was just having a conversation. Maybe he was flirting. I don't know.

Dr. F: I saw the body language, and he was definitely flirting.

Me: Yeah, maybe. He's asked me out before, so maybe.

Dr. F: He's 18 though, right? He's legal?

Me: Um, yeah. He's 18. (and a cross between Usher and LL Cool J).

Dr. F: You gonna go for that?

Me: No! My God! I would feel like a wet nurse more than a date.

Dr. F: Doesn't sound so bad to me.

Me: *Blink blink.*

Dr. F: Don't tell anyone I said that.

Me: Yeah.

Dr. F: How do you do that.

Me: Yeah. It's hard being me. I just got it like that. It's a curse, really. I draw 'em in like moths to the flame.

Dr. F: Man. What is it? It must be the confidence - the attitude. It makes me worry; if I ever had to get back out there...

Me: Well, don't worry about me. They only want one thing from me, so. There's no love there for me to have.

Dr. F: *Blink blink.*

Me: I'm sad.

Dr. F: *Sympathic look.*

Me: Don't you worry, Dr. F. I'll probably get over it and be just fine.

Dr. F: *Confused and Speechless.*

Me: Yeah. Well anyways. Have a great night, Dr. F!

I have the power - and I really hate it sometimes. I just want to be seen; not for the bitch, not for the whore, but for the independent woman who is sweet and kind and generous and caring and strong -- and the woman who is worthy of respect and true affection.

I don't want to be the woman to be fucked anymore. I want to be the woman to be cherished.

7:59 pm - 10.14.04
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