soapboxdiner

Don't mess with the karma, people: A discretionary tale on not being a bitch.

So here's a funny little story about karma, darlings.

Friday morning I was driving into work like a batoutahell, owing to the fact that I am habitually late to work and all. So I pull into the attended lot across the street and sigh a big heady sigh of relief that I've actually made it with exactly 5 minutes to get my always-late self across the street and through the door and past reception and around the corner and down the hall and all the way through the double doors and to the time clock. Which is close on anyone's stop watch but still entirely do-able.

Only, whilst in the lot I spied with mine little eyes... the asshole with the Lexus who always parks right smack dab on the corner so I can't squeeze my beastly station wagon around without back-and-forthing myself into a 5-point turn - you know, the person I curse with leperous wounds and oozing open sores every morning, owing to my considering them to be perhaps the very most inconsiderate parker in the history of people who park.

So, as I have talked with the parking attentant about this person on several occasions, only to receive promises from him that he will "talk with her", and as I have been more than patient in my unfruitful waiting for her to realize and remedy her inconsiderate ways, I decided, "Hey, perhaps I should just speak to her myself."

And so, I quickly make my five point turn around her car, just narrowly missing barreling head first into the car parked in front of me and/or sideswiping the sidepaneling of my beastly wagon acrossed her fancy Lexus bumper, whereupon I sigh deeply my relief at once again avoiding parking lot peril. Only then did I roll down my window and utter the sentence, "Excuse me, ma'am? Yeah hi. Did you know you make it incredibly difficult for every single other person arriving after you to make this turn? I mean, everyone else pulls forward and parks in that handy line up by the street, just so's other people have room. You know I, for just one, almost hit your car every day."

And she says, "Well, he," she says with a barely perceptible patrician nod to the attendant (as if even a nod to the man equates to associating with a commoner), "told me to park here."

"Is that right? Well, I have spoken with this man, and he told me he was going to talk with you and ask you to stop being an asshole."

"Well I never!"

"Well, perhaps you should. You make it nearly impossible for others to park in here, especially those of us with longer cars, like, say, STATION WAGONS. I would hate to hit your car, personally."

"Well," she says as she locks her doors and begins walking away, "I will just have to speak to the attendant about this."

"You do that. And have a nice day."

And she walked off as I pulled my car up to the front, you know, where the rest of the parkers line up, and I commence to exit my car. I turned down my stereo and unfastened my seat belt, I grabbed my purse and my checkbook, and I open the door and proceed to roll up my window when...

the motor for the automatic window went caput.

Yes, parked in a lot in downtown Seattle, my window is all the way open and will not roll up. And for 10 minutes I attempt to get it to roll up. I wiggle. I turn the engine off and turn it back on. I wiggle some more. I pull and pull and wiggle and pull. And Nothing Happens. And in the meantime, a car had pulled in behind me and parked, considerately, two inches from my tail.

Finally I realized that I could not pull out and I could not roll up and I was already late and I would just have to leave it down and hope no one would steal and/or vandalize my vehicle in my absence.

So I got out, locked my doors (smart, right?) and headed over to the attendant.

"Excuse me? Yeah hi. Did that Lexus lady have words for you just now?"

"No..."

"Oh, well. Remember how I mentioned her being kind of an inconsiderate bitch? Yeah. I saw her just now and... had words with her. She said she was coming over to talk with you about it. I'm sorry if she bitched at you. She got all spazzy on me. And all I asked was for her to pull up."

"Nope. She didn't say nothing to me."

"Oh good. Hey. You see my station wagon over there? The window won't roll up. Do you think you could keep an eye on it today for me?"

"Well, I can try. I'm busy a lot though."

"Oh, yeah. Well, I'd really appreciate anything you could do. Thanks so much."

And that, you see, is karma kicking my ass for being just as big a bitch as the Lexus lady.

6:35 am - 04.05.04
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