soapboxdiner

Antisocial

Very much antisocial right now. The Girl and I walked into the building from our respective and separate lunches today. Talked briefly and stiltingly about: What's been happening with you? Nothing. Boring and mundane. Not you, Girl. You like to keep busy. Heh. Yeah. You're right. How's Steven? Fine. Growing. I teased him about his hollow leg and he wondered aloud if I was calling him fat. Heh.

And that was that. I'm edging much, much closer to c'est la vie these days though. Still, I fight with myself not to call her and say, "Hey, I miss you. I've waited and kept my distance, but things only get more distant. I don't want an exaggerated discussion on feelings and thought processes, as we exhausted those long ago, but..." But.

I suppose it's curiosity mixed with unwillingness to lose a friend. But it seems the friend is gone, with or without my assistance. Seems like an awfully silly thing to end a friendship over, though. Hm.

Saw the man in scrubs today for the first time in two weeks. Conveniently, I saw him when I was walking into the building with The Girl. Oh, you still work here? I thought you must have up and left us. Heh heh. Yeah, that's what I thought about you.

I tell myself to base our interactions on nothing but our interactions, but my head keeps telling me things like, "You don't need to do this drama dating thing again. Weren't Marcus and The Girl enough excitement for the '03?"

I'm mixed between "(Comtemplating) not dating based on a bad run is just stupid" and "now that you mention it, (comtemplating) not dating makes a lot of sense."

I'm thinking the "that's just stupid" voice is probably the braver, and the healthier.

8:37 pm - 11.10.03
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