soapboxdiner

Conspiracy theory, part X

It's all going swimmingly, darlings. Just swimmingly.

I called Child Support yesterday to see what's up with daddy. He's disappeared again after that short hiatus in irresponsibility to his obligation to support his child. Turns out he wasn't really being responsible during the hiatus - just having his unemployment benefits garnished - but that stopped three months ago. I promised myself after I got this job, I would never again allow myself to be dependent on the money we received from him. Noble idea, really. Damn shame it never works out like that, eh?

Sunday night as I was leaving for the grocery, there were three children standing at the brink of my drive. Standing. Staring. Waiting. I sat in my car for a moment, perplexed and watching them back. When it became apparent they weren't making any sudden moves to fling their tiny little bodies under any of my car's moving parts, I backed out of the drive. Watching them in rear view as I drive away, they shot into my yard I'd specifically fenced to deter such activity.

Car thrown into reverse, I raced back to the house to tell them, "Um, no. Stop right where you are. You need to get out of my yard now."

And they did. Instead, they stood and watched me leave again. Repeat steps 2-4.

Fine. Reverse, race, park it in front of the neighbors.

"Excuse me, those children that just left your house and raced through my yard, do you know who they belong to?"

*Neighbor rolls eyes and walks back into her house, leaving me with the children's mother.*

"Hi. I don't mean to be a bitch here, but I've already asked the children and adults 'round here to not tramp through my yard. There is a sidewalk. Could you instruct them to use that? Thanks. I really appreciate it."

Very nice lady. Said she'd take care of it.

Coming home from the grocery, there all three of the child are again, racing in my yard.

Three times in under an hour, for those of you at home keeping score.

So Monday I go and spend another $50 on more wire fencing and some posts. Money I don't have, by the way. And I called the land lady. Keep the bastards out, I tell her. And while you're at it, you know the water heater, construction debris and scrap metal the other neighbors disposed of by throwing it all into my back yard? Yeah, I asked around and no one's claiming it. I don't think I should be responsible for hauling it away and paying for proper disposal. Could you please take care of that? Thanks.

Then I got called into the boss's office for a chat. Seems New Girl (aka Hootchie Mama) thought I was snipping at her when I said, "Did you call the courier for such and such? She requested we not do that because she doesn't trust their care of her property."

Seems I'm a bit terse, and they only like you if you're - well - saccharine sweet and nicey nice.

Make. Me. Puke.

So I lied and said I like her. Then I told them all to kiss my ass.

But I said that in my head.

Oh yeah. I'm ready for a vacation. Damn shame I don't even have the money for bills this month.

Conspiracy, I tell you. It's all a conspiracy.

6:36 am - 08.26.03
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