soapboxdiner

Biblically speaking...

Dear Diary,

This is just for you and me. Yes, I know that other people stop by and visit you occasionally, read what I put down here; now and again curious enough to wonder what transpires in my life that I deem significant enough to put to posterity, but this, dear diary, this is just for you and me.

I'm terribly, terribly vexed, my friend. I'm charged, like 24/7. I'm on a high, and a low, that will not cease. I tingle in places and in ways that I should not tingle, to extremes and in ways that I have never before tingled. Ever. In 30 years. I'm insatiable in my fever. In my heat. Is this what sexual prime is all about?

I don't want to talk, dear diary. I don't want to eat. I don't want to quench any thirst but that of lust. I cannot keep my mind on task when I'm working. I'm up through the night, sleepless. I'm ravenous.

I try, old girl, to take my mind from these things. I go. I do. I visit. I see. I partake. It is not working. She looks at me and I melt. She touches my clothes and I quiver. All I can see are eyes and mouths and beads of sweat. My skin replays memories of being touched by hands and lips and the curves and rolls of muscle and sinew and bone. I taste salt and desire.

How can this continue? It cannot. There must be a surcease to this all comsuming need that refuses to be satisfied with fervent chance encounters that all too briefly tease and tempt, but do not satisfy. I must have release from this hold. I have to sleep, I have to eat, I have to work. Why, I ask, has this suddenly overtaken me and stripped me of my higher faculties? Why am I just nerve endings and scents and secret secretions? I know - too much information. It is for me, too. Needful. That's what I am. And guilty of desire for seductions that have nothing to do with the things outside or above the body.

Horny. Uncaring. Selfish in my unrelenting desire to please, and to be pleased. Where is the relief?

7:15 pm - 07.30.03
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