soapboxdiner

I'm really sore ALL OVER

Will somebody please, please, come over to my house and let me call you Sven while you wrap me in warm towels and slather me up with massage oil? And rub me into a doughy ball of people flesh?

Please?

At 8 am this morning, I went out and weed eated the whole yard (paying special attention to the areas touching the neighbor's house so they could share in the love of little rotating plastic cords beating on their house at 35 mph -- you know, to tell them in my own special little way how much I loved their rumba music-laden partying till 3 this morning).

At 8:30, I took my hammar and I deconstructed the delapidated 10 x 3 x 2 foot flower box that has lived in front of my house for the last decade. I tore it down with NOTHING but one hammar and my hands.

At 9:15, I pruned my lilacs, weeded it's bed, raked the yard.

At 10, I turned the soil in the other, larger bed, weeded, and did general bed cleaning. I killed prolly 5 gazillion nasty little stomach crawling slugs. I decided I want to re-organize EVERY DAMN PLANT in the garden. Except the calla lillies. But the peonies? The columbine? The daisies? Poppies? Mini iris? DAY LILLIES?!? The whole darn garden. But I didn't do that today. Instead:

At 11, I took my spade after the dandelions and grass growing up through and obscuring my river rock path. Have you ever dug up three layers of rock to get to the roots of a dandelion?

NOT recommended, my friends.

At 12, The Bro came over and we loaded up all the junk in the yard and went to the dump.

At 1, we moved the BBQ and extraneous unwanted furniture over to The Bros house, up two flights of stairs.

At 2, I bought a new wall sconce.

At 3, I scoured the patio to remove its winter moss and gross crust and prepare it for summer.

At 4, I rubbed laundry detergent into the stair carpet in an effort to rediscover it's original color. I was only marginally successful.

At 5, I continued the cleaning frenzy with a mob, a gardening hose, and some crusty aluminum siding.

At 6, I installed the new wall sconce. Discovered the energy efficient fluorescent bulbs I bought for 8 bucks apiece are taller than the glass cover. No worries though, because as there is no ON/OFF switch on the lamp, I have the choice of 1. taking the bulbs out and using the $80 light fixture as wall sculpture or 2. rewiring the wall to have a light switch.

Dammit.

At 6:30, I made soup, and started this grocery list of daily activities with the plea for a strong armed person whom I wish to call Sven as he rubs me down with lavender and lemon.

If you find him, will you please send him to me? I'll be the prune soaking in the bubble bath.

7:02 pm - 04.12.03
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