soapboxdiner

I said no whining, but I kinda lied.

For New Years, I told myself (and you guys, too) that I was going to stop whining and complaining so much. I think that is a wonderful and very gratifying goal, and one that I mean very much to work on keeping.

It's just. Only. I mean.

God today was horrible. And I'm not going to whine about it, it is just one of those days (not my whole life, as I like to think) where I find myself so frustrated with everything.

Got the W2s back from the Temp Agency. Made 1/3 of what I did last year.

Got to work, New Girl came in 90 minutes early and did all the cake work I like, where I get to walk around and chat with all the cool chicks and find lots of files - which encompasses 100% of my job. Last week she got eight hours of overtime and due to it, I was shorted 2 1/2 hours of regular time/pay.

The AG's Office can't get ahold of any of my professional references and I'm losing this (latest of a long list) shot at a decent, long-term, good-paying job.

The Boss called me into a personal conference to tell me that the Company has changed it's policy of hiring all temps after six months. Now, existing employee senority is given to them for transfers and so forth.

The list just goes on, and today just felt like I'm peddling backward further into this vast hole that no matter how hard I dig to get out of, it just gets deeper.

Dispair is the word of the day, I think.

On the up side, I got a pressie from That Groovy Cool Shivery Chick tonight, and I think it gave me my first smile of the day. I cannot thank you enough, darling. I really needed the love today.

So tonight it's McDonalds chicken nuggets and some beer. Probably a lot of beer. I'm feeling more depressed and despondent than I've felt in ages.

I want a hug. Or a raise. Or a chance. Something.

Is that pathetic?

Oh, I don't care. I feel sad, and I'm gonna go with it until it goes away.

Bye.

5:56 pm - 01.13.03
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