soapboxdiner

So Unfair

Ever have those days when hanging a sign marked in Crayola water-based marker (because that's inevitably the only marker locatable in the entire house when you have a young one) around your child's neck with a hurried chicken-scratched ad saying, "Free!", plopping them down on some busy intersection at rush hour, and then running off in the opposite direction with your arms flailing behind you sounds almost too tempting?

Yes, we've officially entered into that blissful stage affectionately labeled the It's Not Fair I Hate You Mommy stage.

Why do they hate us at this stage? Well, it could be because we tell them they must eat at some point in the evening - preferrably before midnight. Or that they must (oh, the horror!) bathe at least once a week whether or not they've rolled in mud puddles, wiped their precious little tushes without the aid of sufficient tissue-type products, or have spaghetti drying in the hair behind their ears. We are also damnedably unfair when we inform them that getting up and dressed in the morning is a requirement that must occur at least five days a week, hopefully prior to when one must be to work and/or school. And yes, we - The Fiendishly Evil Parents - appreciate when all this can transpire without tears, raised voices, or plastic action figures being flung angrily at our heads.

So we're getting with a new program. Oh yes, there will be No More Tantrums So Help Me God. (And will the reader please form a mental picture of Scarlett O'Hara raising a muddy, half-eaten carrot to the Heavens when reading that?)

Yes, there is now a Posted Listing of Appropriated Times of Mommy-Determined Activities hanging on the walls. We will eat promptly at 6 pm, do homework at 6:30, bathe at 7 and read a lovely little story at 7:30. We WILL go to bed at 8 and there will be No Tantrums or Debates on the Matter. Period.

I mean really, beating them till they bleed only works for so long and then one must get tough.

5:33 pm - 09.18.02
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