soapboxdiner

The Gen-i-oos Returns

You gals rock. I just wanted you all to know that.

It is darned early in the morning here today. The kid has awaken me too early. We went to see Signs at the drive-in last night and I nearly fell asleep right in the middle of Mel Gibson and that other actor whose name I don't remember but was in American Beauty (who is SO charismatically edible in an odd and rather disturbing way). Now that is a shame, right there. How could I possibly be unable to keep the proper level of swoon for those two to stay awake?

But it was a gorgeous night. Big fullish moon out in farm country, slight breeze from the north and a cricket chorus during intermission.

Today is going to be so busy. I promised my sick mother I would come and do some pruning and weeding in her garden, as I have become in recent years her Master Gardener. She informed me, "What I really need *cough cough* is someone to clean my house *weeze hack cough sigh*." She's so subtle, isn't she? Looks to be a full day over there.

In other news, have I shared the fact with any of you recently that I am brilliant? I tell you, I (upon occasion) shock even myself with my level of brilliance. Gen-i-oos!

Remember how I've been whining and moaning about all these software kit returns I've been having to research and have returned to Corporate Monopoly Clients? I tell you in all honesty - there are 500 packages waiting to be delivered to their owners. That's no exaggeration. That's a lot of calls, man. Especially for an Asst. Acct. Mgr. to do solo while still keeping up with things that actually fall into the realm of Acct. Mgmt. But me, being the raging gen-i-oos that I am, have been brainstorming.

I'm not calling all those freakun people, man. No way. For untold ages spanning back to the dawn of Company Time, there have been CSR people (note I DID NOT say Acct. mgmt people) holding to the policy to call each of these individuals at least three times. No freakun way I'm making 1500 calls.

So me, I have devised A System. It's called SBD's System of Using Modern Technology To Accomplish Returns Without Becoming Homocidal.

Catchy, don't you think?

I can log each day's returns into My Self-Created database. (Another stroke of gen-i-oos.) Then I can mail-merge that into Outlook, zap off a BCC global email. In ten days if I don't hear back, I send another notice, and in 20 days, I can send the third. By day 30, their package is out of there, man. Done deal.

Then all I have to do is import that into the shipping form and have Faceless Warehouse Shipping Staff hunt those bad boys down and send them packing.

Now tell me, am I a freakun gen-i-oos or what? Me and modern technology - we are so tight right now.

Now I just have actually LOG the 300 remaining unlogged packages into the database before my Tuesday meeting with Big Boss. But I save that for tomorrow.

Now I'm off to get mucky in my mother's garden.

9:10 am - 08.24.02
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