soapboxdiner

Society doesn't suck all the time.

I am incredibly mind-numbed and blubbering with fatigue. 4 ½ hours of sleep a night do nothing for my mental faculties.

Had lunch on a snazzy country club's lanai with my boss and her boss today. Two hour lunch in which a club sandwich and iced tea cost $17. Unoccupied gentry played nine on the greens behind me. I could get used to this. Finished said club sandwich at T-ball after sitting in traffic for an hour and half.

Spoke of goals and aspirations. Realized yet again that at this point, I really don't have any. Learned another thing: I need to learn how to lie better. If for no other reason that putting on respectable airs in hopes of "professional" advancement.

Big Boss asked my boss if things were going better since I've signed on. She said, "Oh yeah" Through my haze of insomniacal blur, I smiled and was pleased.

Deleted the personal ad tonight, experiment concluded. Online air time: 36 hours. Responses: 32. Number of freaks: 16. Number of honest people either looking for a soulmate or friend: 16. I am at once abashed and restored in faith. Was going to post same ad with picture of a large woman to see if the results would vary but in the process of looking for an appropriately rotund photo, instead found this. Through blurry sleep-deprived fog wrote a letter to the editor.

Reread a chapter in women who run with the wolves about body/image love. Suggest it highly. Yes, the book is rather standard stock these days as everyone has read it, but it doesn't detract from the wisdom of the words or their power to raise the hopes of the readers. At least the ones who need to hear that kind of thing once in a while... Slough some of the jaded facade. Does a body good.

Good night, chilluns. Wish me sweet dreams.

7:46 pm - 07.31.02
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