soapboxdiner

Regarding the matter of my hair

On the matter of Half a Light Copper Colored Head:

Die Loriel, DIE muthafuckas! I bought your funky hair color in a fit of desire for a full head of lusteriously strawberry blonde locks. What did you give me? Huh? Answer me! Oh, you know what you gave me. Yeah, you had it allll planned out. Don't lie to me. I know you know what you did to me!

Yeah, that's right. NOTHING. There is no strawberry in my hair. There is no blonde. Do you know what color my hair is? It's brown! The same brown I started with, cept that that leetle tiny whisper of a hint of plum 'round my temples.

Do you not recall me telling you I'm a hirsute? I wasn't kidding, jerkwads! I got more hair than Robin Williams after that terrible disfiguring Rogaine accident! Now you can't even see the hair on my temples. EVER. And you thought hinting at a coolasscolor would satisfy me? What are you, a man? Getting my hopes and expectations up only to dash them on the craggy cliffs of denial?

You'll get yours, you fascist haircolor swine lickers! You'll get yours!

6:25 am - 12.18.02
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