soapboxdiner

The skinny on the big bad ugly

Strange things I've heard this week:

1. Victoria's Secret doesn't sell undies in "women's" sizes. I'm going to start a class action lawsuit and put an end to this discrimination!

Firstly darling, the last time I checked, Victoria's Secret is a privately owned company. They are perfectly within their rights to merchandize any old thing they want. It's called being a specialty market. Sure, I like pretty little lace panties as much as the next girl, and I'd probably buy me up a whole drawerful if Victoria decided to cater to women of my particular volumptuous stature.

And as my breasts jut out a good ways further in front of me than your average mesquito-bitten supermodel's do, I could probably get more use out of her wonderfully comfy and tasteful seamless bra than the concave chested pre-pubescent chicas this bra is designed for. But that doesn't give me the right to sue Victoria. I just choose to let her keep her anorexic little secret and cart my round self over to Lane Bryant. And guess what? I can still be a Goddess. So if you really want to make a statement, darling, just don't give that pruny old Vickers your dough.

2. I was reading some of Jeff Wuorio's articles over on msn.com. He apparently considers himself an expert on giving small business advice. I immediately question anyone who thinks so highly of themselves but I have to admit he caught my eye with, "Lamebrain things managers shouldn't say to employees". This, I thought, should be a very humorous column. And it was. But do you know how when you read something and it's just off? You can't quite put your finger on it but you know something is amiss.

So I clicked on his related article, "7 things never to tell your customers". And then it hit me. He never once in either article used a male pronoun when exemplifying bad behavior. This I find odd, as "business" is typically thought of as a male-dominated enterprise. Good old Jeff allowed women to break through the glass ceiling, but only by giving them the ownership of bad business license. This accomplishment, I think, takes a special kind of asshole. So I tipped my hat to him:

Dear Jeff,

Thank you for your often humorous and insightful articles. I have often found myself nodding in agreement with your astute assessments of social and business graces. However, are you aware that in every faux paus you describe, you use feminine nominatives? Perhaps you might wish to take your own advice and use better discretion. It is, as you so rightly put it, ever so much more politic.

Let's just keep it real, Jeffy. Even you aren't above putting your foot in your mouth. So let's try just a little harder to keep things balanced, mkay?

Jeez. You'd think he was a televangelist or something.

8:43 pm - 09.27.02
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