soapboxdiner

You so crazy, SBD

I'm crazy, right? Going into a support mod with the offer to forego all child support payments if daddy will just SEE and help RAISE his child for part of the month, help with clothing and other sundries and 1/2 of daycare.

That's crazy, right? Sure, it would fuck with daddy's head and make him cease thinking of his son as "just" a monthly bill. Muddying the waters of the modification process and throwing off daddy's equilibrium. Always prime ways to win even the smallest of battles.

Steven cries for his father. He still asks, "Does my dad know me? Does he love me?" He WANTS his father; he deserves the best damn father in the world.

I want Steven to have a dad. I want him to have a male in his life. And despite the kid's suggestion that, "There are men down in the city, mom. I'm sure one of them will marry you," we haven't seen that happening lately, have we?

Daddy wants to keep more of his money. He was raised in a big family and claims that family is the most important institution. (Not that he's shown it in our case...) He's a father of another child on whom he lavishes his time and attention.

I could use some time to have a life outside motherhood. That's really selfish, I know. I'm not supposed to be considering that in this equation, am I? The wants I have for my own life are supposed to be inconsequential when factoring what's best for my offspring.

Offering this man limited access to our lives is really crazy, right?

Yeah, that's crazy. Sorry I brought it up.

10:26 am - 09.21.02
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