soapboxdiner

When life presents...

Guess who was today informed that her Giant Head account is being sold to another distribution company in December? That's right kids; me. Can I call them or can I call them? Here I was stressing and working my ass off and wondering why?!?, and the whole time Big Boss knew that in three months none of it would matter anyway. All that business about what I'll do and what I won't, and how I'll stay through the Boss' vacation and then I'm gone? Yeah. There will be no turning back. I'm so outa there. Let someone else get the axe. I'm not sticking around to wrap up the company's loose ends. I don't need that kind of stress, dude.

But what's really messed up about the whole situation is the state of the NW economy. The City's been in a hiring freeze for a year, and just announced a 60 million dollar budget deficit for 2003. Same with the County - not that I could go back to working for the County and keep any amount of my precious self-respect. I refuse to work for any of the major corporations in the area because they are heartless to their employees. Boeing is moving to Chicago and something like 15-20,000 people (and I'm only guessing here - but the typical lay-offs are in the range of 5,000) will be out of jobs when that happens. Microsoft doesn't actually hire anyone, they just leave them as perpetual temps. Well, they keep them as permanent temps for about 6 months, then drop their hours or just lay them off. This, to save the expense of providing medical insurance to all the people doing their grunt work. I've got better things to do with my time than put up with that hassle.

I keep telling myself I will go back to school and become this extraordinarily talented professional-type person, but after 6 years of saying that... I imagine we can all see the reality of that little fairy tale.

Oh well. I've simple become ambivalent with it. I'd like to worry and fret. Or more accurately, I'd like to be able to NOT worry and fret. But that's not really the reality of my situation. And so I'll for now content myself with my near poverty and spend my time on better things... Such as Nose Hair Guy.

He stopped by this week. Well, he didn't REALLY stop by, more like he drove up to the house and honked his horn. As I don't ever have company, when the horn honked, I just rolled my eyes and cursed the bad manners of the neighbors' guests. Didn't even bother to look out the window to see if it was for me. On the third honk, I finally relented, only to find a contrite NHG in his Bronco.

Do you KNOW what he SAID? Do you? He said he was deeply sorry for being out of line with me at the bar last weekend. Apologized for flirting with me. Said it was the alcohol that made him treat me as less than the lady he knows I am.

Made me feel like an ass. I was stringing him along the whole time. He hadn't offended me, I was teasing him. I was being the typically drunk and outrageous person I am when I'm bored, depressed and drinking. He'd only been my hapless male victim set up as the butt of my own private joke at his expense. That he even entertained the idea to feel badly about it, to even worry that he'd offended my delicate sensibilities, only shows how shitty a person I am for putting him in the situation to begin with.

But that was nice. He's not such a bad guy... as much as I'd like to lump him and all men into that category.

The lessons one learns... I tell ya.

6:15 pm - 09.05.02
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