soapboxdiner

Keeling Somebody

All, I have an announcement. It's a very important announcement - one that every one of you out there needs to be a party to. On this momentous occasion of announcement-hood, I would just like to share:

I must know keeeel my neighbors.

I came home tonight, which is something I usually do on a nightly basis. But the neighbors... they are making it harder and harder every day.

You know, I can shrug off their child coming over and asking for money. I can grin and bear their scrap shingles and various other roof-assembling detritus flying into my yard and being left there. I can even force a smile and push the words, "I don't mind" from my lips when they have extended family low-rider car washes three times a week. And I don't really mind their guests racing to the end of the cul de sac with their bass cranked to 10, threatening to break my new windows. Who needs windows (or intact aural faculties) anyway? All in the spirit of good neighborly-ness, right?

But is it SO much to ask that their guests actually park in the guest parking? It's only an extra 10 feet away. There are usually between 5-10 spaces available. Do they really have to park behind my car? Can't they park behind their own host's car? Must they block my drive for no visible or apparent reason? Huh? Huh?!? Nearly every frickin day since they moved in - over a year ago - I have had to go to their house and ask them to move their cars. Do they hate me that much? Are they plotting to drive me to insanity... and leave me there?

WHAT is WRONG with these people?

Is it just me here or is their persistence bordering just a little too closely to imbecilia? Aren't there group homes for these sorts of non-socially functioning adults? Maybe a half-way house or something? Surely Ronald McDonald sponsors something.

You know, there are times when I realize just how much I'm turning into Ouiser Boudreaux from Steel Magnolias.

I'm not crazy, I've just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years!

8:52 pm - 08.06.02
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