soapboxdiner

Welcome to the bumble dance

Hi there. I'm SBD, hospital worker in the office of Surgical Pathology. I transcribe medical reports all day. Well, that and tumor board agendas. It's fascinatingly fun work, really.

I don't have internet access at work anymore. But if I did, I wouldn't use it for such frivolous things as surfing Diaryland. Heavens no. That would not be wise time management. Nor would my boss like it overmuch.

I know my boss. She is the woman who inspired three years of psychoanalysis and the emotive outcry from my psychologist, "She's a god damned borderline personality! She needs medication!"

I miss my psychologist.

But I'm much better now. I have a strategy. I will simply go LALALALAAA, I can't hear you! when the voices in the boss's head start yelling at me, too.

I will resume my hospital career again on March 10. Which really makes me happy because now I won't have to fill out that 50 page release form to collect the last $4.96 from my hospital sponsored 401K. You think I'm joking, but I'm not.

I fancy myself Dolly Parton from the 9 to 5 days. Only I don't work 9 to 5, I work 9 to 5:30. Thank goodness, eh?

I get to ride the bus to work. Oh, how I have missed the bus. But Metro loves me, and provides door-to-door service. It makes all the difference, really.

I only get thirty minutes for lunch now, which makes me very sad. I won't have time to go for my walks downtown that I used to love, those three years from 1997-2000 when I worked here last. But the boss has assured me, if I come in at 8:30, she will most graciously allow me a full hour for walking.

Thanks, boss.

I have medical benefits again and can finally go to the doctor for these painful breasts. If I had my way, I would cut them off.

But I wouldn't do it at this hospital, because that would mean that the pathologists in my office would get to see my boobs for free, and that weirds me out.

Same goes for my annual constitutional. I'm sorry, but Dr. Everything's Gonna Be Alright doesn't need to know how my cervix is holding up.

Trust me, I speak from personal experience.

I have no idea what I will be making. We didn't discuss it. But I think there is some kind of law that says employees who got laid off and then rehired get to keep their same wage.

I made that law up, by the way.

There is another law that says company contributions to retirement funds are retroactive to the original hire date. That way I will be a fully vested employee and will recieve butt loads of cash for free.

I made that law up, too.

Hi. I'm SBD. I have a real job now. And it is very nice to make your acquaintance.

I'm going out to dinner now, in honor of this fine occurrance. I will be wearing my new clothes and new shoes too. Also in honor of this fine day.

Ta ta, fellow worker bees. I'll be seeing you in the clover fields. I'll be the one doing the Good Stuff's Over Here bumble dance. You really shouldn't miss me.

5:22 pm - 02.21.03
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