soapboxdiner

a love letter, if you will

Dear Ex Employers and Temp Agency Associates,

You know what I love about being a freakin jobless goin' on homeless bag of bummy bum-ingness?

I'm in my lacy jammies and you all are at work in your twill business pants that ride your crack but you can't pull out your wedgies because your boss is looking and your boss hates you and wants you dead and fired but you still get a paycheck so you can go out on Friday nights and blow your wad on some super-cut X and crack and shit and then you meet your "true love" in the boys room and serenade each other with Macho Man and YMCA and I Will Survive when I'm sitting at home cutting crappy ass coupons for Downy two-ply toilet tissue so I can go to the store and buy a six-pack of ass wipe and then come home and carefully seperate the plies and roll them around empty tissue circle tubes with tweezers for fun on my Friday night!

Hahahaha! The joke's on you, isn't it, you crack smokin' WORKING guy? Ha! I say. Ha on you. You can just HAVE your Macho Man, see. Do you see that? Is it abundantly clear to you now, WORKING GUY? Yeah, that's right - I got 12 rolls of Downy toilet tissue and all you have is a scratchy cheeked guy whispering IT'S RAINY SOME EFFING MEN NOW, BABY. AINT THAT RIGHT? COME ON, BITCH, TELL YOUR DADDY WHO'S GOT THE SHIT YOU WANT!.

Yeah. I got toilet tissue. Ha on you.

Sincerely,

S to da effin BD sucka

1:08 pm - 02.10.03
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