soapboxdiner

Should I stay or do I go now?

At work, things indeed have changed radically; though one supposes it should not have come surprisingly. Amid the excitement of technological advancements, now comes global unexpected change and reorganization that has, this time, touched even by myself.

Amid the improvements is panic and uncertainty, all re-energizing that same worn question: Do I stay or do I go now?

Do we (D00d and I) downsize to a more enjoyable lifestyle free from the fetters of possessions, or do I send out my resume? And if I send out my resume, what exactly do I hope to accomplish with it? Another entry level job where through sweat and grit alone I prove my qualifications and skills? Or do I say: No. I am smarter than entry level. I am WORTH more than entry level. I am capable of more than entry level. Therefore, I will not accept or beg for entry level. Then entirely forego looking for another position in another company and concentrate on getting my degree.

There are boons to all three options, stay, go, or go to school. There are downsides to each. And I don't know. I yearn for direction and clarity in the path I WANT to take, but as of yet, it has not cleared.

All I do know is that last night in bed, D00d and I curled around a heart-to-heart and this time, unlike the last time security was tenuous, I am supported and loved. I have a partner willing to stick through my anxiety and share his wisdon with me, his perseverence, his comfort and his insight. And I am comforted in a time of uncertainty, knowing I am not in this alone.

5:23 pm - 02.15.10
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