soapboxdiner

Trading the Simple Pimped Out Punk Apprentice Wives of America's Next Biggest Lib vs. Con Swap(tm)

D00d and I had a fabulous idea about a a new reality TV show that we reverently decided to call Trading the Simple Pimped Out Punk Apprentice Wives of America's Next Biggest Lib vs. Con Swap(tm).

Or something -- we're still working out the kinks.

See, the show would take a, oh, I don't know, maybe a Kentucky alligator farmer -- Yes, I know! -- and moving him out to the inner city of ... Chicago? Detroit? Manhattan seems a bit too lacking in imagination. Maybe Baltimore or Philly? Anyways, someplace really urban and tough. So Bubba (req. NRA cardholder) goes to the inner city and has to work for a year as a social worker. His wife, the placard-toting, demonstration-marching ProLifer has to come with him.

Then in Bubba's place, a Birkenstock-wearing, bicycling, three-kinds-of-recycling office worker would move down to Bubba's alligator farm with his homemade-organic-granola-making (shh -- the granola's really from Whole Foods, don't tell!) "partner" to take care of the gators.

Commence the show.

Episode one: Bubba gets his gun stolen after a failed attempt to extract his wife from amid the angry crowds in front of the Pay Day Loan on the 1st of the month. Bubba goes to jail. Wife recovers after hosting a prayer vigil and serving apple brown betty.

Episode two: The Birks lose it when they discover their iPhones don't get reception out on the farm. All they wanted to do was use their web browsing app to track down someplace that sold organic tofu. After wiping their tears away, they resorted to calling information -- only to discover that the nearest tofu selling store is 368 miles away. Recommense tears and panic when they discover their Nissan Leaf doesn't have four-wheel drive.

Then at the end of the year, a panel of professionals would decide the winner based on whose perspective changed the most in the course of the year.

6:54 am - 11.24.09
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