soapboxdiner

You're so vain, you probably think this entry's about you

Dear M00d,

Don't come to me with tears in your eyes asking me my opinion. You will not like what you hear. You hover your mallet of unforgiveness over D00d's head and pound guilt into him with it to get your way. That's not love. You know, mother to mother here, just between you and me: Your son fell into a bottle 8 years ago. And he stayed in the bottle for a couple of years. He never lost his job. He never missed a bill. He never abused his family. He drank, and he turned inward and was miserable and in pain. And then he made the decision to pull himself up. And he has stayed up for 5 years. Five years.

Just how long does he have to pay for having "fallen," if that term even fits? How fucking perfect have you ALWAYS been, that he is not deserving of his mother's forgiveness five years after a period in his life when he struggled and lost his way, and then spent the last five years making amends?

You want to know what I think? I think you know he can't forgive himself for having a time in his life when he wasn't the perfect father and provider. I think it's a convenient go-to button when you need to manipulate him to get your own way, or to you feel the urge to garner the sympathy of others who weren't there and don't have the luxury of knowing both sides of the story. Poor disadvantaged M00d with the drunk son . . . who hasn't had a drink in five years.

I think you are a weak and manipulative woman who tries to control everything and everyone, and you feel threatened when someone is stronger than you. You look down your nose at parents whose children YOU feel don't have good manners, sense of work ethic, or ownership of their own responsibilities or duty to the family. But the second you see a parent enforce behaviors that teach children these same principles that you admire, you convict the parents of hardhearted lack of love of their children. You then go behind the parents' backs and coddle the children, completely counteracting the efficacy of the lesson. And then you wonder why the children grow up and become adults, they have no self-esteem or ability to navigate the adult world by themselves, or a skin thick enough to get up and shake off a set back.

I think you ask for opinions but only if those opinions reinforce your own beliefs. I think that if those opinions differ from your own, you accept it quietly until later -- after you've laid out all the differences like land mines that will blow up later, after you've had time to build a bunker of self-righteousness and crawl inside.

You want to work towards us all living together and "You can give up a lot of control as long as you can have a little sewing room in the back?" Are you kidding me? Not a hot chance in hell will I ever live with you.

Oh, and quit laying land mines. I've already cleared one field, I won't be walking into any more, thank you.

11:41 pm - 09.07.09
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