soapboxdiner

On giving things up

Have you ever seen a silk tree, darlings?

D00d has a 35 foot one in his back yard. The canopy floats just above his second-story deck off his bedroom. Sometimes I go out there for quiet time and revel in it's absolute beauty. This summer he wants it to be in MY back yard. He wants to make HIS deck mine, too. He wants to build raised bed/scaffolds for gardening up there. Tomatoes and peppers and peas and beans and cucumbers. Because he knows I like to garden and he wants me to have it at his house.

He wants us to move in this summer.

And a part of me wants to move in, too. That's the part not concerned with selfishness (no more beers after work -- ex-alcoholics in the house, no more guilt-free cigarettes, no more shoe closet, no more space for my library/home office, no more privacy). The other part would love to move in. Except for living with his mother. Except for having to perpetually having to ask permission to do *anything* related to making household decisions. Except for having to sell or give away all my furniture.

Except for becoming a second-tier member of HER household. But the fact is, it IS her house. Well, THEIR house. They bought it together. And there's no place for the Kiddo and there's no place for me. D00d says it will all work out -- we'll make room. I don't know about that. How? Where? I NEED PLANS, man.

Do the benefits outweigh what I will end up giving up?

7:09 pm - 03.10.09
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