soapboxdiner

On Hills and Bills and Driving Ms. PURPOSE to the NEEDS stores

I spent the weekend at the seminar, $550 and all I learned was that I'm a Supporting Controller personality type who has issues to resolve in self-forgiveness.

DUH.

"Find your PURPOSE and stick to it. This will bring you fulfillment."

Great! Sign me up for some of that. What's my PURPOSE? Is it [this] or [this] or [this]?"

Nope, those are byproducts. Try again.

"How about [this] or [this]?"

Getting closer, but those are still results. What are your DRIVING NEEDS, SBD? This will tell you what your PUROSE IN LIFE is all about.

"Um, I don't know? I feel like I'm circling around the concept. Here, look at these things I've identified, Mr. Ph.D. Tell me, what is it that I'm circling?"

Oh, we cover that in the next course in the seminar series. $1300, please.

Fuck that.

But I did remember over the weekend that originally, a long, long time ago that my purpose was to go out into the world and earn money so as to support my family and have time to love and cherish my Kiddo. Only somewhere along the line, it became more about career success than family.

And I remembered all those Hollywood movies with God and remote controls and near-death experiences all culminating in deathbed remorse for where life took ya because you strayed from the course you called your PURPOSE.

Hmm, interesting.

But how much of my PURPOSE was exposed when I originally decided on my PURPOSE, and how much of where I am right now (which feels really fucking exciting and fulfilling for me) is a part of my larger, more defined PURPOSE?

A lot, I think.

So I think the driving needs are somewhere in the middle of career and family. I sense it's about contributing to others in ways that I excel. I want others to succeed, and I want to be a part of making that happen. I want to give away the knowledge I have and see others as edified by those things as I have been. I want to have wisdom and share it. Perhaps that Nurturing, or Gaining/Sharing Wisdom.

It's somewhere in there.

But for now, I'm just a bill. But I, too, will go to the Hill. Maybe one day I'll be a law.

p.s. But it was AMAZING that when the seminar was ending, all the people who referred the attendees showed up to celebrate with us. D00d walked in with a huge bouquet of roses and freesia. Do you know, I'm nearly 36 years old and that is probably the first "big" bouquet of flowers I have ever received from a man? AND I got it in PUBLIC. What a beautiful gift.

7:38 pm - 03.09.09
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