soapboxdiner

D00d, S00d, Head and the Special Ed.

It was a weekend of firsts, darlings. Well, kinda anyways. Saturday Dood's son and I had a heart-to-heart in front of D00d, the Kiddo, and Big Head. You see, a couple of weekends ago, whilst Son of D00d (S00d) and I were out spray painting the shit outta some shit, I mentioned that it was such a nice day that I should get out the rake and clean the remaining dead leaves out of the yard.

S00d looked at me like I had three heads and asked me why I would possibly want to do that.

"Well, so I can plant flowers this spring. Natch."

"But this isn't your home."

Well then. I guess I have been told, haven't I?

So Saturday after a fabulous BBQ party for Dood's mother's 68th birthday, I tell the Kiddo to pull himself away from the XB0x, "Kiddo," says I, "D00d and I spent the afternoon preparing for and cooking a delicious meal for everyone. D00d is still out at the grill finishing the cooking. You've had a good meal, and the least you could do is go back downstairs and do the dishes. You can contribute, and I think it would be a good idea if you did."

But I said it in front of S00d, too. Which while I think the admonition was equally apropos for S00d, it really isn't my place to tell him so directly.

So upon seeing Kiddo doing the dishes, D00d went upstairs and politely told S00d to go down and help.

Later, while we were all enjoying an evening of respite, S00d pipes up and informs me that he doesn't appreciate how I manipulate D00d, this isn't my house and I am not his mother, and I can butt out.

Well then. Again, I have been told, haven't I?

So let me ask you a question, Sood. Next year, when you're attending (local) college and working and running around town with your friends doing fabulous grown-up 18-year-old activities, what then? Will life here remain as it has for the last 18 years? Will you want your father's full measure of undivided and selfless attention? Or will you be busy? Will you be in the house pining, waiting for him? Or will you be busy with your own adventures? What will change in YOUR life when you graduate this spring and begin college and work? And what do you think it would mean if the Kiddo and I DID end up moving in here?

"I won't get to ever see my dad. Kiddo will be glued to me and I'll never have any privacy. I guess I could just move out and live with my friends, or on the street or something."

Yeah, I know, S00d. Life would change. That's scary, because you don't know -- it's something that would be out of your control and you would have to adapt to it.

Fuck that. I'm NOT giving up Thursday night game night with Dad though. That's MINE.

And I would have it no other way.

*blink blink* Oh. *mumble mumble*

I would not ALLOW that to change. And I don't think your dad would let it anyways. Your dad loves you more than you probably even realize.

I love him too. More than he probably knows.

I know, and I bet your dad knows too. But I'm not planning on going anywhere any time soon, S00d. And I understand what you're saying, but things do evolve, and your life will evolve very soon, too. I promise I will respect you, but know that things do evolve.

D00d and Big Head listened silently through the entire conversation -- not a word was spoken. And I was a little out of line, I suppose. It should have been a conversation without Big Head or Kiddo around to hear it. And probably D00d should have been allowed the opportunity to broach the topic with S00d. But it was time. It was on S00d's mind, even if D00d hadn't seen it yet -- S00d had commented twice to me about it and felt threatened and territorial. It was time to get it out in the open and make it KNOWN that it was OK to talk about it.

And now that is done.

And Big Head and I talked, as well. And there were no verbal gut punches volleyed.

Do you know the five love languages, SBD?

What? You mean words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch??? Those five love languages?

Yeah, those. I'm not around much, so acts of kindness aren't really something I can do. D00d gets mad at me because I spend a lot of money on gifts for him, but it's how I show him that I appreciate him. D00d is an acts of kindness person. I make a lot more money than D00d, so I can spend more. But D00d will drop everything to help. I can call him and he will be right there.

And he told me stories and tales of all the times D00d has been there for him and all the things D00d has done. And we talked about what a special person we BOTH know he is. And it was nice that it was honest and open and REAL. It was good.

But I didn't tell him that D00d and I have talked about Big Head's proclivity towards confrontation, or that D00d told me if he was forced to choose, Big Head would have one less friend.

But that's not going to happen. Do not ever give up real friends for a lover, mama said, mama said. And mama usually knows what the eff she's talkin' about.

So it was housecleaning and letting out the bad air this weekend. And it was strange and awkward and at times uncomfortable, but hopefully laid good paths for openness and honesty and trust. I hope.

AND, in a fit of "Where in the hell is all the information about writing macros? Why can I find no coherent, easy to follow, instructional information on this topic," I went to the book store and bought Special Edition - Using Microsoft Office Word 2003 Saturday afternoon and have had about 15,000 waves of transcendent joy and excitement. D00d even called me "tres geeky". THIS BOOK is the start of a revolution, darlings. Words of the week: (1) Master Documents and (2) Forms.

p.s. I really hate Microsoft's document protection features. Very retarded when used in a network environment.

p.p.s. I'm totally in love with the new found knowledge that I can know do SO MANY cool, advanced things to simplify my life in regards to updating five gazillion different manuals, guides and other sundry documents and online information. If you only knew how much I'm in love, and how much retardicity will be vanquished. Behold! I swell with joy, darlings.

9:53 pm - 02.22.09
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