soapboxdiner

In which my life flashed before my eyes

I almost died yesterday. You know that steep-ass hill by my house? Of course you don't. But anyways, there's this steep-ass hill (SAH) a block from my house. And the sky dropped like 4 inches of snow in a couple hours yesterday morning, so we closed up shop and everyone was sent home early.

Yeah, well, all those fuckers who LIKE snow were sledding on my SAH as I was trying to drive down. So I cautiously began my descent, had one belly-boarding snowtard jet in front of me, causing me to hit break and begin a sideways slide going downhill. Thankfully, Mr. S. Tard moved to the side of the road upon seeing what he'd caused, and then commenced GAWKING AT ME as I lost control on the ice, tried to correct but continued to have my tail end slip sideways until I was completely turned around on the hill before coming to a gentle stop when I went up on the curb.

But all was well and no one died or got damaged. Thank the little baby Jesus I was able to miss that parked SUV. That would have sucked totally the whole way. S. Tard waited until I got down the hill before hopping his happy ass back out into the middle of the road to sled. Again. Cuz, like, there isn't THREE STUPID PARKS with hills within a 1/2 mile radius of that same road, yo.

But I got my bonus!!! Just in time, cuz I'm goin' back to Cali in 10 days.

Now I just have to make it into work today. I have two new-hire orientations today (how much do you want to bet they'll call and cancel?) and the Boss is off today. So I'm the Head B In Charge in this Muthapucker. Well, at least as far as they're concerned. Everyone else knows I have about as much authority as ... I don't know. You can fill in the blanks, darlings. I'm gonna finish wrapping presents now and get ready for work.

6:39 am - 12.19.08
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