soapboxdiner

Get your nose out of my panties, ya FREAK

Dear Every Damn Store and Retail Establishment in the Free World:

Is there a marketing school somewhere that every damn one of you attended in your youths that informed you that the very bestest way to sell feminine hygiene products and undergarments to women everywhere was to locate the Kotex and Massengill aisle directly god damm next to cashiers where every damn body and their neighbors can thrill at the bloated, irritable woman weighing her options between the Super Supremes versus the Overnights with Wings? I mean, Jesus! Must you make that joyous event in our private hygiene rituals a public spectacle? What, do you find it titillating or something? Is it funny and fun for you guys? Do you all pop popcorn up the management offices and lounge in front of your closed circuit TVs pointing and giggling at the Menstruators trying to be inconspicuous as they haul their 66 packs of sanitary napkins into their carts?

And for that matter, as if THAT joy is not enough, why in the holy hell is that you guys invariably locate the Bra & Panty Department next to Men's Sporting, smack dab next to the aisle? I mean, I don't recall EVER seeing the Jock Strap display next to, say, Housewares. What, does your research tell you that the sight of a man testing the elasticity of his athletic supporter actually repels sales? Totally unlike seeing women over in Lingerie turning a handful of thongs this way and that as she inspects it for quality, texture and comfort. OH NO! Don't worry about us girls over there surreptiously browsing for our cotton briefs. We LIKE avoiding eye contact with the hoards of men who DO NOT FAIL but to slow down as they look on with unmitigated fascination at the women shopping in the panty department. Do you know WHY we avoid eye contact, Store People? Because the very last damn thing any one of us women care to see is the nearly audible, "I can see your pannnnties." look in the eyes of all the mouth breathers when all we want to do is BUY A DAMM PAIR OF CONTROL TOPS. Jesus! Cretans. Aren't there websites for you guys? Sick Freaking Voyeurs dot com or something? Grandma Goes Panty Shopping dot org?

GET A DAMN LIFE, MENS. For Christ sakes. Jesus!

Thank you,

SBD

5:48 am - 05.04.04
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