soapboxdiner

And the world was a beautiful place again

So I get home yesterday and like most days I said to myself, "Gee, SBD. Wouldn't it be lovely to unwind from your hard day's work with a little DSL internet play?"

And then I answered myself, "Why yes, Self. That sounds positively lovely. Let's do."

And so I clicky clickied on my little E icon in my taskbar and... nothing happened. Then I did it again. And again. AND AGAIN.

Then I gave up.

And so tonight I got home, equally as typically looking for a little Diaryland wind down, perhaps followed by a little email action while reserving the option to access my bank account and/or check on my Amazon order, depending on my mood, doncha know. And so I clicked on my little E doohookiekabob and STILL - no internet.

DSL Bastards. Always hooking me with that sweet sweet promise of immediate web page gratification but always falling short. I swear, these DSL people must be where those "bar stool Romeos who look so good in the smoky haze under the neon Bud Light sign at the pub who always have a oops! when you get them nekkid" go during the daylight hours.

Not that I've ever experienced one of those, mind you. I'm just saying.

Anyways.

So I call the Rat DSL bastards and wait on hold as the time stretched immeasurably long and my hair all went gray. And then some overly perky child answered my service call.

HI! she said. Just like that. HI!

Only, after another long stretch, a consultation with her manager and several, "Are you sure you're doing ___X___ correctly?"... she said, "You'll have to call back later. I can't find your problem and you'll have to talk with Tier 2."

Well then. Fuck you, Miss Prissy Perky Don't Know Your Job. That's right. Fuck You.

Except I only said that in my head.

And so I got off the phone and was messing around in the start menu? And then I saw my modem link in there? And so I click on it and then clicked on the "Status" button? And it said "Disconnected" and I clicked on the "Connect" button?

Voila! And then I had my internet connection again.

The End

p.s. Does this mean I have to call back the DSL people and rescind my order for her to fuck off? Or is it more like one of those, "If you pretend it didn't happen, then it doesn't matter" kinds of things?

10:50 pm - 02.19.04
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