soapboxdiner

Computer voodoo, clod hopping and Mullets

Isn't it funny how one day back at work from an extended holiday can make you realize all over again how much you should really just somehow become independantly really stinking wealthy?

So, there I am pleasantly and serenley minding my own business when Busy Body Coworker says, "SBD? Can you come here a minute? I have a question for you."

And so I do, only to find that through her ineptitude and lack of willingness to ask a simple question BEFORE she attempts something she does not know how to do, the woman has once again thrown a massive wrench in the spreadsheet I created. I mean MASSIVE. Hours of work lost.

Patiently, I told her I would have to work on fixing the problem she'd created. But all I really wanted to do was tell her, "I'm sorry. But you are obviously too fucking stupid to data enter into Excel. I'm revoking your privileges until you either grow a freaking brain cell or learn to ask questions before you fuck shit up."

I simply cannot fathom how these people have gotten along in the computer age this long so utterly illiterate in basic software applications. It's like they think computers run on voodoo or something. Like I secret away after hours chanting Ooga Booga and burning sacrificial animals at an altar or something.

Grr.

Not to mention The Girl. So I have these sandals. They kinda clop when I walk. Every day, all summer long, she has said, "Pick up your feet." Despite my daily reiterations of, "I am, darling. I cannot help the shoes, though it pains me greatly that their percussions disturb you."

And today as I'm walking out to break she again impatiently chastises, "Pick. Up. Your. Damned. Feet."

"I'm sorry. My feet are as high as they go. I'd have to curl my toes to get them to stop clopping."

"Well curl your toes then!" she has the nerve to demand.

"Well gee, I would, but then my feet would cramp. And I would lift my feet more, but if I did, I'd be walking like a horse."

But what I wanted to say was, "You're always telling me just exactly what it is about me that you don't like and what you'd like to change. I have an idea! If I truly bother you as much as you seem to indicate, why don't YOU crawl out of my ASS and walk ahead of me. That way we can both get a little peace."

Gah.

But in happier news, the kid had his first day of school today and was beside himself with joy at being a second grader. He's so proud of himself! God I love that kid.

Also, there are not words enough in this language to describe just how much I am looking forward to this show. Mullets galore! Weehawww!

11:14 pm - 09.02.03
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