soapboxdiner

On love and war

I have a friend in the airforce. For me, he's a moving writer, a photographer, a confidante. For someone else he's a son, a lover, a friend.

We all have a person like this, don't we? A person we love who is in the military who will possibly or probably or already has, gone to war.

I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it. I've already thought and talked and listened, and it has frightened me and angered me. Now that it is a reality, I cope. I don't talk about it or think about because I can't change the reality of it, and fetal (with stress and anxiety) is not my best position.

I worry for my friend, despite his brave front. I worry for all the troop. I listen on the radio and news on bus stop and check out counter at the store, "Blah blah blah, JWB is doing this for humanitarian reasons."

No he isn't. Look at all the other "humanitarian" precidents he's established. How long did those last? What, five minutes longer than the photo op?

As John Powers put it, we aren't trying to enable democracy over there - because democracy would be radical Islam. Or something like that.

Its about JWB's Caesar Complex. Get ahold of power, don't want to share it with the Senate (or the UN, as the case may be), plot and scheme, make yourself a God, go insane, burn and/or kill something. The only thing missing is statues of phalluses lining the White House lawns. I bet Ashcroft vetoed that idea, though.

Yeah, so. I'm just going to cop out and not talk about this war, or how my thoughts for my friend make me think of my father, the alcoholic, wasted, PTSD poster boy. I don't want to think that my friend faces those repercussions, if not worse.

So in slightly happier news... it was raining after work yesterday. At the bus stop, Marcus watched me walk up to our stop and exclaimed, "You're wet!" and promptly covered me with his umbrella. I thought he was terribly sweet for being concerned and chivalrous like that. We joked and kidded and talked about his divorce and in general what makes him tick on the "dating man" side of things. I asked him what he was doing tonight and he perked up in that "What are you doing tonight and why do you ask - is this a leading question?" kind of way. He in turn inquired about my plans for the evening.

He still wants me. But here's a secret - I'm starting to want him, too. Shh. That's a secret. Be slick, darlings. Don't pass that around.

5:53 am - 03.20.03
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