soapboxdiner

[Not] moving on up (to the Eastside)

And the more I think about moving in with D00d, the less I'm in love with the idea of the logistics.

God bless D00d, but I really wonder if he's just in love with the idea of "together forever" so much that he's not looking at what the reality would be like.

When we first started talking about living together, I suggested we both move into a rental. Now I know he's lived in his house a long time -- it's home. And there's really only one draw to moving -- me. And "home" is a lot to change for the sake of one person, no matter how important they are to you. So I can understand the lack of enthusiasm for having to say goodbye to the home he's known for so long.

Then it was, "When the house is paid off in 2011, we'll start saving for a down payment on a house. Then we can live together in our own place."

Well, honey, have you done the math on how long it would take to do that? How do you feel about not living together for FOUR YEARS?

Then it was, "Move in here." And it's really the perfect solution for everyone but . . . me. And I'm OK with sharing space and living in a multi-generational home. What I'm not OK with is not having equal weight and authority in that home. D00d and I cramming our entire lives into one room in a house that has five bedrooms, three bathrooms, two living rooms and a dining room. SOMEWHERE, I have to have space -- and it can't be at the expense of all the toys and things that D00d keeps himself busy with. That's fine for now -- when we're only doing it on the weekends. But it's not a viable long-term option without some fundamental shifts in dynamics.

And that's the part that makes D00d uneasy. And it's the part that makes me question whether or not we'd end up resenting each other for everything we've sacrificed for the sake of fulfilling a fantasy that been brought into reality without sufficient deliberation.

So I guess I know where I stand, Bubba Gump. I just don't particularly like the view.

8:42 pm - 03.11.09
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