Soapbox Diner
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Bom-chicky-bow-bow in that 70s-p0rn style. |
07.21.07 |
Ohlala, darlings. Today is the day Steven and I get to go to Kids' Court and learn marvelous and wonderful things about the cogs of the criminal justice system. It will be four hours of fun-filled exploits with judges, attorneys, and tuna fish sandwiches.
After two mildly disturbing phone calls this week, I am just a little concerned that nobody involved in this case knows who the hell anyone else is. First, the coordinator for Kids' Court called to confirm our attendance today and said:
I think your son, Mr. T, will learn a great many things in the program. It will be a great asset to him!
To which I had to reply:
Oh, I'm sorry - did you mean that my son, Steven, would enjoy it? Because you said Mr. T. Mr. T is actually the defendant, and I don't think he'll actually care even a little about our mental preparedness.
So after many backward and awkward and what seemed like interminable other somersault-y wards, we straightened out who all the players are. Jesus, for petesakes.
Shortly after that call, the detective left a voicemail for me.
SBD, the prosecuting attorney would like me to call your sister, Mrs. T. I need that number, call me back with that information. Thank you.
Fucking A, dude. Does no one know who anyone is?
Detective, Mrs. T is Mr. T's sister, not mine. You may wish to refer to her as such when you call her, as I'm pretty sure that addressing her as a relation of mine when you call to get evidence against her brother will not bode well for you in that conversation. Here's her cell and home numbers. Have a nice day.
But a funny. The victim's advocate, who apologized profusely to me for completely ignoring every single one of my attempts to contact her for the last three months, got to see the the back of my ass this week. Even after her I'll be a really victim's advocate from now on, promise! As a matter of fact, I'll PROVE what a good advocate I can be by setting up Kids' Court for you! But she was still slow as fuck. Kids' Court is only held once a quarter, which coincidentally fell on a day one week later. Did she set it up? Heh, right. So four days of the five days later she sends me this:
SBD, the Prosecutor just informed me that you have already set Steven up with Kids' Court. That's great! Let me know how he likes it!'
FUCK YOU, VICTIM'S ADVOCATE, AND YOUR LITTLE DOG, TOO!
Anyways, I should be off now. Must shower and put on my pearls. Kids' Court is in a couple hours and I have to go pick up the munchkin from the grandfolks' before the show. And then I think I'll top off the day with a trip into work for some OT. I brought a desk lamp in for my new office yesterday because everyone was looking at me funny for sitting in the dark while I worked. I like the lamp, but I think it does more to highlight the fact that my fluorescent tubes of eye murder are off than to actually eluminate the space. When I turned it on for the first time, I actually thought I heard Barry White begin to rumble melodically in the dark. Mmm, Barry, do that to me one more time, daddy.
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