Soapbox Diner
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Cool Shit Be Happenin' |
07.10.07 |
I started in my new position yesterday! It was tres cool. I got to move into my own office all my myself with a door and blinds. I got to close the door and people had to KNOCK to come in and see me. Ha! I bask in the fantasticness of my office.
It was also quite awesome that I get to train other people how to be as demented as me. Well, I suppose if you're measuring dementedness, I'm pretty low on the scale; however, I did get to compose several emails that included "Press one to talk to God." and "You fucked this up bad, dude, so now here's the skinny, please come see me in my very own office at your earliest convenience tomorrow."
Middle Manager in Training, who replaced me at Old Job, came into my office today to gloat that he's already better at it than I was. Why? Because I had the boss give another coworker a portion of my old position so MMIT would have time to devote to learning the rest of it. Now he thinks he's better than me on his first day. And I'm happy for him - how could I not be happy for him? But honestly, if that bloated ego does not stop that crap right this very second, I WILL be forced to punch him right in his self-important asshole. So I told him, "Hey! Know what goes really super awesomely good together? Talent AND Humility, dude. For realz. Try it, you'll like it!"
In other news, the Prosecuting Atty called me back and set up an appt. to meet with me this evening. Boo. I feel like Sam I Am about the whole situation. I do not want Green Eggs and Ham, Sam I Am. I do not want to meet to discuss my rape, Sam I Am. Not in a can, and not in a van. Not served on ice or with a side of rice.
However, on the upside, the fostering process is nearly complete. We've finished all the in-home visits. Now they just want me to pay good, hard-earned money to a shrink who is charged with the duty of determining if I'm a loopy nutcase or not.
Well, shit. I could have told you that, you beaurocratic buffoons. I'M NUTS! But I'm still a good mom, and I promise, I will not beat them with wire hangers, unlike those other two state supreme court cases you're currently going through. Methinks your stupid asses should have given THOSE bastards psych evals, you idiots.
And lastly, as I prepare to leave for the morning, I leave you with one more splendid bit 'o happiness. The best damn thing in the whole world is jacking up your exemptions on your W4s so you get lots of cash on payday! Hell, I say go for it! I'm not one for giving Uncle Sam payday loans 26 times a year just so's he can pay me back on April 15th, if you know what I mean. I cut the Uncle Sam off when he comes around begging for my $$. I tell him just like an empty-nester tells their loser kids - GET A JOB, FUCKER. Me, I have a mortgage and a tax write-off, so bugger off, loser.
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