Soapbox Diner
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Fall from Grace |
02.13.07 |
So I've been been reading Paradise Lost here lately, and the same phrase keeps popping into my head: The mind can make a heaven out of hell, and a hell of heaven. Only I've been reading it in some God forsaken version of Middle English ripe with obscure and irritating little terms like durst.
Anyway, yeah. I like that little phrase, and have been thinking on it rather frequently lately. I've decided I completely relate to what he is saying. Here I have a lovely home and happy, more well educated child. He has his own room and plenty of space to play and explore and dream. I have a landscape which I can populate with sweet-smelling and exotic blooms. I'll have a refuge in the warm evenings of summer where I will harvest organic veggies and cut flowers for arrangements.
I also have the Man who borrows my bank card for buying replacement chain saw blades, who instead goes to the casino and blows nearly $500 of the money I earned working, both in office during the 9-5 and in the evenings and weekends on overflow - a laborious and tiring gig I do in order to earn about $4 an hour. Asshole. This, after two months of catching up from Christmas - where I finally dipped into savings and pulled out exactly 50% to pay off bills and get us back on track. THEN he goes and rips me off for $500 on top of all that.
I would be horrendously angry, but more I'm just tired of the antics. Thank goodness he tells me loves me every day - because dontcha know, hearing a man proclaim his love makes all his selfish acts of treachery OK.
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